this strange life

life is almost strange sometimes, I still am "me", but sometimes I have a moment where I stop in the middle of my messy kitchen and tune out the hyper-active boys and think.... "I am just going through the motions". Its sad I mean who wants to feel like they are living mostly in auto pilot. I feel in that moment compelled by some deep desire to switch mindsets, to throw wide the door, to bask in the energy of my two boys. But the moment passes as , before a resolution is formed, some minute thing snaps me out of my revere and I am once again set to some kind of auto pilot feeling lost in a sea of stresses and burdens that have no end in sight.
Its both humbling and oft times depressing.
I know that circumstances that are difficult can become blessings,  great strengths, or opportunities, at least learning experiences. But I have times where I feel like an overtired child thinking things like: "Lord I don't want to be better, or stronger, or handle my trials well, I just want my trials taken away" Eventually I come around and humble myself, but ohh in those times when I feel like I don't want to deal with it anymore, I really don't want to deal with it anymore. On those days I often feel like when I pray for comfort or relief I get just a little bit, but its enough for that hour.The need to pray often keeps me from going into auto pilot and helps me really notice the important things going on right now (like how kayden calls everything he wants a snack, "nack na".

*This is part one of a 3 part series to see parts two and three click the links below!
part 2
part 3
I know that Jesus Christ is our Savior, We are God's children and He loves us!
To learn more about what we believe as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints (Mormons) follow this link.